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Who Sets My Agenda? Checking In or Checking eMail?

In the past month, I’ve taken a small step toward creativity and away from reactivity:

I stopped checking e-mail first thing in the morning.

It’s hard to believe how hard it’s been and what a difference it’s made.

I live on two continents. My work life, my social life, and my educational life all transpire largely through email. The nine-hour time difference between my two homes means that “important” messages often arrive while I’m sleeping — while my peeps on the other side of the world are wide awake.

There have been times when I can’t wait to get to the computer in the morning to hear a response, get some feedback, continue a conversation.

When I’m working on a fast-moving project or building a new relationship, my morning enthusiasm brims over. For a long time, it didn’t seem so bad to open my mail with anticipation every morning.

But then it became habit.

It happens when there’s a project and when there’s not. Whether it’s urgent or whether it’s not. Ever notice how almost anything can become urgent when you’re in that mood?

Am I doing okay? Are they happy with me? Am I on the right track? Will someone define my reason to live today? If I look beneath the surface, these are the questions I seek to answer with that morning mail.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit… but just a bit. There’s an element of that approval-seeking and looking-for-signs-to-follow in all of it. I let arriving messages (or their absence) define my priorities for the day and how I feel about life.

What if I answered those questions myself instead? In my heart. In my intention. In my own “yes” to the day and “yes” to my wondrous life.

Six weeks ago, I decided to do just that. I decided to meditate first, to walk on the beach, connect with nature, get grounded in my physical body, have a cup of coffee and read or write something about my intention for the day BEFORE opening the computer.

After six weeks, it still takes conscious decision. I have to remember each morning and deliberately choose to do something other than check my email (or Twitter, Facebook, blog stats…). But it’s not hard anymore. I’ve seen how much better I feel and how much more productive I’ve become. Those rewards are my encouragement.

Try it. You may be amazed.

Next week, I head back to Italy. My new habit will be more challenging to maintain in Milan where the gym doesn’t open until 9:30 am and there’s no beach to walk on. But now I’ve told you all about it. I’m accountable. Check up on me.  I’m committed to living creative, not reactive. And I want you on my team!

Join the discussion 5 Comments

  • Lisa says:

    OOOhhh, how I can relate! I have been doing the same thing, deliberately avoiding the email until atleast lunchtime. And I can understand and relate to letting whatever others say set the tone for your day… something I too am in the process of releasing. Bravo! What a wonderful post!

  • Louise says:

    Just a team member checking in, and probably not often enough. It’s a great posting, so important to reset our intentions, regularly if not daily. I’m working on it, trying to create some of those habits too, relearning to act and not just react.
    Let’s keep our heads clear.

  • Vincent says:

    This is so true. I myself have 2 homes, one in Asia and one in Europe. So I have to check emails every now and then. I can totally understand.
    It made me wonder, how the world has changed…and yet, not changed. 🙂
    I started to realize that modern technology is really a strong force itself, that it affects everyone, especially the younger generation.
    But still, at the end of the day, the body and spirit would send signals of “Enough! Have a break! I can

  • Leslie says:

    Hi team members!
    Vincent, checking emails now and then is not a problem. For me, it’s essential to carrying out my activities. The important thing for me is to bring my intention to what I find there, rather than letting the messages highjack my intention. Hey, did you ever find the embroidery training you were looking for?

    Louise, looking forward to stitching with you soon!

    Lisa, you’re doing better than I am. I don’t wait till lunchtime. I still check in the morning, only after I’ve set my day in motion and decided what I’ll give my attention to. We each have to find our balance points.

  • Great post Leslie!
    I have gotten into the habit checking my email first thing in the morning. I know I must be feeling something is not quite right about that, because I wait until my husband goes upstairs to go to my computer. I don’t want him to see me be that obsessed.
    It’s funny that you should mention the overseas aspect of this, because I think the habit started when my daughter was studying in England. She would send me an email about her day before she went to bed each night. I couldn’t wait to read those emails when I got up in the morning!
    I will probably start working on this habit soon. I will keep you posted!
    Dianne

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